Helping Children Through Divorce
Divorce is a very hard time for everyone to deal with. It can be very hard on a person emotionally and physically as well. This is especially true for children. They have to have the proper help during this difficult time. They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much.
Parents are going to have to work hard at putting aside their anger and hard feelings toward each other. They have to sit down and make an arrangement that will be suitable to them and to the children. This is going too much easier and less painful than having to go into court and have them decide this for you.
It is mandatory to pull it together with the spouse enough to do as little harm to the kids as possible. This is the only way to help them through this hard time. If one parent decides to go against their commitment to help their child the responsible way, you should still keep your values as a parent and help them the best that you can.
You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to tell them when you make your decision and what is going to happen. Try to give them at least a little bit of notice before the parent moves out so that the child can have the time to get used to the recently obtained idea. Reassure the child that both parents are still going to be there for them and that nothing has changed in that sense.
Do not put blame on anyone when you are talking to your children. Do not put down the other parent in any way. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents to take care of them. Let them know that it was a mutual decision and that you both did your best to avoid this ending.
Make your child aware that they are not going to be able to get the both of you back together. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to make the situation dissolve. Also make it clear to them where they will live and that they can see the other parent any time they want to, if that is the situation. You can tell them that there may be some changes in that later on, but it is not going to affect their relationship with you. Give them the opportunity to ask any questions they may have.
Giving the child the right information, but not say too much is important. You do not want them to feel anxious or concerned about it. They have to feel comfortable with the news and have time to adjust to the idea.